Funny Things Every Indian Dad Says When You Goof Up

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When it comes to volatility, daddies figure among top examples in life. Be it your grades in the school or your driving skill, there is a signature line every Indian father uses, mostly out of compulsion to prove a point.

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Statutory warning: Readers might find it skewed against boys… buy hey, dad’s are chivalrous with daughters and barbaric with sons. (Dad= Split personalities)

PS: My dad and his set of “cheerleaders” who have always found zillion, gazillion things to point out my mistakes…

Out of modesty, here are just 8 ‘routine’ one-liners dads use when kids goof up.

Told you so!

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Whether it is out of his optimism about your capacity to make a certain goof up or his own experience, the “I-TOLD-YOU-SO” is the underlying catalyst of every father-kid relationship. Whether it’s your first heartbreak (if he knows) or your poor choice in career, his lines will overshadow all your achievements in life.

Baap ka maal hai!

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So you broke a glass vase, and are giggling about it? Dad is the ultimate digger for karma who will point you about your goof up. From paying your tuition fee to picking your pair of socks, everything is “baap ka maal”. A little research will show that even you are ‘baap ka maal”…

God is watching you

When guilt strikes, dad’s take an easy route to karma. For every goof up you make, there is someone watching- the God. For every hurdle you face in life, blame it on the God-effect created by daddy dearest.

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My House, my rules

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This is our favourite… and we know every kid just wants to grow up to prove a point to his/her father. House, food, travel eh! Growing up with dad around is nothing short of a military drill and sports training combined with vigorous bouts of incessant spying 360 degrees. But hey! Despite the goof ups, we hold onto our place in the house shamelessly.

Log kya kahengey???

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All about dad’s reputation and peer pressure, your performance is a feather in his hat. Your failure- kya kahengey log!  Yet to find those four people who would audience my performance at every point in life.

Ass-leel hai yeh launda!

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Symbolic of kids from 90s, expletives were hard to hide. Every swear word was greeted with curious stares and the one-liner directed at you, but fired from the “sanskaar” gun.

When you blame it on mom…

Moms are aide-in-crime, confidante and to an extent co-conspirators favouring numerous rebellions against those senseless restrictions. And when caught up, or goofed up- blame it on mom altogether.

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Dad Logic:  Jab main chotta bacha tha

Ahh! One blunder and all the lessons on life from his diaries roll over…

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You were taught in the womb!

(For the swag kid)

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When you try reasoning out about a mistake you find silly to even notice, the ‘baap-turned-lawyer-turned-Holy Book- turned-judge-turned-hangman’ will belt out a very B-moviesque line: “maa ke pet se seekh ke aya hai! “

Followed by…

Bewakoof! Kuch Kaam ka nahi..

…superseded by

This is the 5th mistake in an hour!

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For all the reasons on the planet, we love dad… in his angry sweet avatar.. Can’t imagine him in any other way.

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